a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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