We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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