It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
