Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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