i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
