Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
