WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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