what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
