How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Randomize
