I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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