I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
