Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
