And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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