So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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