Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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