I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
