Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
