Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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