Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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