we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
