imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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