his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
