I don't remember. Are we still dating?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize