butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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