Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
