So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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