Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
