discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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