He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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