meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
