i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
