Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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