I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
