I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
