so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
