so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
