shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
