which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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