You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
