are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
