I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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