As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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