i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
