The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you just see the Batmobile???
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
