I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
