Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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