chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We don't watch enough power rangers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
