How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I want her autograph on my taint
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
