He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
