only you would photoshop your dick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
