real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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